Well it's now nearly a whole year since I've held you in my arms and seen your beautiful face light up with laughter and giggles. You've been gone now longer than I had you here. Although sometimes it feels like an eternity since we were together other times I feel like you've never been gone. The impact you've had on my life alone, as well as so many others, will last a lifetime and the love, pride and adoration I have for you will never ever fade my beautiful little man. I miss you so much everyday and I think about you constantly, what you'd be getting up to now, how you'd look, what you'd enjoy doing, your favourite foods, your favourite words, all the things you would have already achieved. I can't help looking at other children and imagining that's what you'd be doing if I could see you here today. Life seems so unfair and sometimes pretty empty without you to share it with and keep me busy. To think that we should be a family now and everyone should be fussing over you like they always did is so heartbreaking and cruel. I wonder often why it had to be you that was taken when you loved life so much and were so surrounded by love by all of us. I have to believe their was some reason and that your still as happy as you always were wherever you are otherwise I don't think I could stay as strong. I just have to hope that the times we did spend together were enough to last a lifetime for you too and that you'll always know and remember the love we all have for you until we can show it you again one day. Your little brother isn't far from arriving which I'm sure your keeping a close eye on to make sure everything goes ok. I can only think it was you that helped bless us with him and for giving mummy something so joyful and happy to focus on for the future. I'm sure you knew that if we couldn't have you back with us this was the next best thing to help us all cope and keep us busy, remind us of you and keep your spirit alive somehow. I can't wait to meet baby Henry and give him lots of cuddles and see how similar he looks to his big brother George who will be his guardian angel for the rest of his life. I really hope he's as happy as you, as playful and cheeky and that he can help mend my heart in some small way. I'd do anything to cuddle you now George and watching back all your videos is getting harder for me now the longer were apart. All I want to do is see you and know that your ok. Looking at your pictures makes me desperate to have Henry here safe and well so I can cuddle him and never let him go because I feel so heartbroken that your not here anymore for me to look after. I often think people don't realise how lucky they are to have healthy, happy children and what I'd give to still have you by my side, to go on walks and to the play centre, swimming and play days on the park. Just to hear you waking up In the morning, standing at the top of the stairs or chattering to yourself in the car is something I would give anything for yet so many people don't appreciate what they've got. Everyone is doing a great job keeping me busy and making sure I'm ok, Daddy is relieved I think that I don't get upset as much at night :-) I love you to the stars and back and I know you'll be with me every step of the way over the next few difficult months, you'll always be with me more than ever I feel when Henry arrives and I hope you never forget how much we love and miss you and how important it is to us all to keep your memory and your presence here with us every single day so that your always a big part of all our lives. All my love, cuddles and huge sloppy kisses to my big boy George Your Mummy xxxx