I don't even know where to start as I write this tonight George I feel like every day it gets harder and harder to carry on without your beautiful face and fun loving character in my life. I miss so much our mornings cuddling in bed, how your face would light up at the sight of me first thing in a morning, getting you dressed, feeding you, singing to you, laughing with you, going on our days out, seeing you play with all your little friends, bathing you and cuddling you to sleep. I even miss you waking me up in the night and arguing with daddy who should get up to see to you. Life seems so pointless and sad without you, I just feel so lost all the time with nothing to look forward to. Our wonderful friends and family have been keeping me busy and I'm even trying to get fit to raise money for your fund. I hope you know how well we are doing saving lots of little boys and girls in memory of you and I hope your proud of everyone for helping me achieve these amazing things. I really am trying my very best to make your perfect, precious little life count to others as it always will for me. I want people to know that it's you that has saved lives and that you are their hero as well as mine. It's so hard thinking of all the things we should be doing and the lifetime of memories we had to share, I'm still in utter disbelief that I won't be seeing you for a very long time, but I know il see you again one day and until then I will carry you safely in my heart always. It breaks my heart seeing all your little friends growing up and new babies being born because it isn't fair that you will be forever young. I can't believe that the photos I have are all I have left to remember you by and I panic so much about forgetting any part of you, it seems like an eternity until I can cuddle you again and tell you how much I love you. I try so hard to keep brave and to carry on with life but I'm so scared of feeling like I'm leaving you behind. Your face and the sadness I feel for loosing you is carried around with me wherever I go and behind every smile I make. I like to think you are watching over us and visit me from time to time and I think that helps me through each day, as well as help from others. I've spoken to a lot of mummy's who have lost beautiful little children so unexpectedly and it has made me even more certain that you have been taken early because you are so special and that you have lots of lovely friends up there to play with. I hope you come and visit me on the days I look after your special little friend Alfie and you hear me singing to him and enjoy it as much as you always did. As new fears and challenges crop up every day I hope you can somehow give me the strength and courage to face them and know that I carry on only for you. I hope you recognise me when we meet again and I hope you can forgive me for not protecting you and keeping you safe. I hope you know that I love you with every part of me and always will and that I would do anything to have you here with us now. I'll keep that image of you climbing the stairs on that Saturday forever etched in my mind and your carefree, independent spirit embedded on my soul, you always were and always will be a part of me. Keep smiling and having fun up there my beautiful prince Love, kisses, cuddles and smiles forever Mummy xxxxxx