Hello my beautiful big boy,

I can't believe you'll be 3 at the end of this year time goes so quick, especially now we have your little brother Henry here with us keeping us all very busy. I'd love for you to be here to play with him, make him chuckle and teach him all your cheeky ways. I'm sure your keeping a close eye on us all from wherever you are and manage to visit us every now and again.
We recently held a big charity night in Aunty Rachael's marquee after her wedding in memory of you and Donna and I hope you were proud to see so many people there all to remember you and honour your memory and keeping you alive in us all. I hope you heard the words I read about you, it was the first time I've managed to read anything I've written about you in front of people at a fundraiser and I'm really glad I managed to do it because I think it would have made you happy.

These last few weeks have been very busy with all the wedding and fundraiser preparations but although at times like this it's all very exciting and great fun it always makes me think of all the things your missing out on here with us and how much you would have enjoyed being amongst all the excitement and joy of our family and friends. I wanted nothing more than to see you following Aunty Rachael up that aisle on her wedding day, as I'm sure she did too, I think you would have looked so grown up and handsome in a little pageboy suit and it breaks my heart that you couldn't be there with us all to celebrate such a special day my beautiful boy.
You were never far from our thoughts though as you are everyday because everyone had a special little pin badge to wear with your picture at their place setting and so you were very much part of the big day I hope you saw. You were even mentioned in every single one of the 3 speeches which I'm sure you were chuffed about, it was so lovely to see how much you have touched and continue to touch so many lives and how special you are to so many people not just me and daddy. I think on big days such as that your absence is all the more heartbreaking and hard for us all to cope with but just to feel the love everyone has for you is more than I could ever hope for.

Yesterday me, Nanna, grandad and Henry all travelled down to Stroud again to visit your memorial stone and lay a flower for you. The day was very emotional seeing all the other mummies, daddies, brothers and sisters living without their missing piece. Listening to others speak it was sad yet positive to know that trying to carry on and live a happy life is what you would want for us all and letting everyone meet Henry and telling them how much he looks like you was a very proud moment for me as a mummy of two beautiful, amazing, very cheeky little boys. I think Henry enjoyed the little trip and having a little holiday just to honour and remember you as his big brother, I think it will be the first of many as we will continue to take him to visit your plaque and to meet other families affected by this unimaginable loss as he grows up into a big boy. I think he will in time come to be so proud to talk about you and all the amazing life changing things the money raised in your memory has helped achieve. I hope he will one day too want to fundraise himself in your memory and enjoy taking part in various fundraising events we hold as he grows up. 

I wrote you a little poem which I read in the memorial service during our time at the Forever Day which I have attached below, I hope you like it and I hope you were able to hear it yesterday during the service and it made you smile as you do me every single day.

love you always and forever,
my bright, beautiful, sparkling star
mummy xxxx

Our beautiful George, 

it's almost 2 years since we last had you here,
although we can't see you we still sense you near.
we miss your smile, your laugh, your beautiful face,
all we can pray is that your somehow in a better place.

your kept here with us alive in our thoughts everyday,
we just wish we could see you again if there was only a way.
your new little brother Henry is starting to look so much like you,
he even shakes when he's excited and giggles like you too.

although the time we had with you was only so short,
we will never forget the last time we saw you or how hard you fought.
its hard to stay strong when you seem so far away,
but it's your inspiration that helps us carry on come what may.

we love you, we miss you, your always in our hearts,
I know when we see you again it'll be like we've never been apart.
so until then we'll carry on doing the best we can do,
we can only hope your happy and keeping smiling wherever you are too xxx